Softball: A Diaspora of Families

Dear People,

My team beat Bill's 23-18, in a taut Labor Day paragon of proletarian athletic excellence. Even better, we raised the community bar for familial aerobic bonding, as seen by the rare and tender presence of mother and son (Enid and Macabe), father and daughter (Alan and Jenna), grandfather and grandson (Marciel and Marcellus), sundry spousal and/or spousal-like units (Deb and the Dunkleator, Chris D and Jay Z), and of course, majestic potential lovers (Jonny and myself)—potential only because of the lack of a somewhat necessary orientation and, in all candor, his sudden and disconcerting passion for showing off his belly while at the batter's box, despite its uncanny resemblance to the overstuffed gut of a knocked-up tawdry tart now 7 months on.

In any case, and as I've already warned some of you, we as a softball-playing people are once again being tossed from our chosen time and homeland, this time by Berkeley city officials who believe that some annoying league of pre-pubescent wanna-be Lacrosse players have some inherent right to land that the Lord clearly intended for us. Go figure.

What this means is that for the rest of September, we will be ricocheting around in both time and place. For many, this will be a frightening challenge that will make you feel tawdry and unclean (not unlike that prego hussy that Jonny so resembles), but I also know that your craving for cardiovascular release will not be quelled by fear alone. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 5:00PM SHARP, which is just like 11AM except that it's actually six hours later, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning....Raymond


Softball: Dusk (Your Evening-Already-Planned Sport)

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 5PM SHARP, and as of now, there are still four slots left. Please note that because it will get too dark to play by 7:15ish, I expect to see all of your precious, cherubic faces at the park no later than 4:55. Just for the record, 4:55 is just like 5:08, except that it's actually 13 minutes earlier.

This week's field fee is just $3, and because we're playing at the traditional cocktail hour, that includes a pre-game Mai-tai with gin, dark rum and and lightly fermented goat milk. EVEN BETTER, immediately after the game, you are invited over to Mark's abode next to the Albany Bowl in order to help him quickly move some pre-packed boxes and a few pieces of furniture, from his current dumpy hovel to Nanci's fabulous house in Emeryville, where pizza, drinks and endless aerobic love will be waiting for those who've volunteered.

Yes, Nanci and Mark, the vital moral backbones of our entire softball community, are going to shack up in every sinful sense of the verb, and you, of all people, have the rare opportunity to both witness and facilitate the very beginning of this new, exciting and utterly shameless era of young athletic cohabitation. In all candor, I get chills just typing this.

See ya Sunday at 4:55....Ray 845-7552