1/2/08

Softball: Kismet (Quality Time with the Scifi Channel)

Dear People,

Let the record show that as my team took a commanding 12-5 lead into the bottom of the 6th, I continued to meet the emotively strategic demands of my captainship. Indeed, as Alan Brill rested his aching throwing arm, I gently flattered him on his devastating fouetté-rond-de-jambe pitching style. “Jonny’s side has so much power” I told him with a victorious grin, “but ya know, that Nureyev thing shuts them down cold.” Yes, the air was brisk, the verdant grasses were lush, and as the Brillster took the mound a few seconds later, I could feel invincibility itself course through my veins. “Just keep doing what you’re doing” I told him, and with a twinkle in his eye, Alan smiled back assuredly.

Unfortunately, and for reasons I don’t pretend to understand, our little ballerino became a tad “less effective” in the immediate innings that followed, giving up approximately 3,000 hits over the next 60 minutes (In fairness, we made errors; Yes, errors were made). And then, alas,
with the score tied, two out, two on and my side barely clinging to life in the bottom of the 9th, Chris Fure nailed a final game-winning überblast to deep right field, thereby lifting Jonny’s team to a stunning and utterly annoying 25-24 triumph.

On reflection, I have to concede that expressing my initial optimism to our very own pitcher may have triggered the random effects of quantum athletics. I mention this because I’m sitting here watching my 23rd intermittent hour of The New Year’s Day Twilight Zone Marathon, where tempting fate, of course, is a vital staple of the Rod Serling repertoire. Yes, I know full well that the question must be asked; Did I actually jinx the Brillmeister at the height of his hurlative craft?

I honestly don’t know, but I do know that if you’re ever toy shopping for the little ones and you see a creepy-looking doll that says “My name is Talking Tina and I want to kill you,” you’d be a total retard to buy it. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond



1/4/08

Softball: The Future Unwritten

Dear People,

There will hopefully be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, there are still two slots left. $3 for the field, unless it’s a lake…

I know what you’re thinking; You’re thinking “What kind of moron plans for a game this weekend when every climatologist in America is saying we’re about to be hit with an additional 2.5 to 3,000 inches of utterly contemptible rain over the next couple days?” Well, maybe they’re right and maybe they’re not, but regardless, I happen to believe in the organizational planning of hope, not fear.

Sure, call me a transcendent agent of delusional consensus-denying change, but come this Sunday morning, when the sun shines bright and the pussy nimbostratus clouds have scurried away, I think you’ll understand that our destiny and drainage will not have been written for us, but by us.

Or not. Check your email before the game…Ray 845-7552


1/6/08

Softball: 9:57AM: The Fierce Aerobic Urgency of Now!!

Dear Stout People,

As you may have guessed, Codornices is currently a malarial suckswamp of unplayable filth.
HOWEVER, as I type these very words, the sun is shining and Ehud is down at Maxwell field, holding legal possession of its clean, lush and verdant Astroturf sheathing.

No, there are no guarantees, and I understand that. The contemptible rains may return, or perhaps a frisky gang of softball-hating soccer players may seize the field and even arrest the Huud. Anything is possible and the risks are high, but in the end, do we really have a choice? No, we don’t, and I think you understand that.

Seize the Day!/One slot still left!/Courage!/No excuses!/See you at 11 at Maxwell Field…Ray

PS: Maxwell Field (formally named Kleeberger) is located on Gayley Road, on the East side of campus, across from the Hass Business School. Take Durant all the way up to Piedmont and turn left, or Hearst all the way up to Gayley and turn right. There’s a parking lot, but you may have to pay. There should be free parking by my beloved law school at Piedmont and Bancroft. If in doubt, check out a map.

PPS: If our plans our thwarted, those who would like will retreat to the Albany Bowl for a stimulating round of large ball rolling. The Albany Bowl is at 540 San Pablo Avenue, about three blocks North of Solano and a block South of the El Cerrito Plaza, on the West side of the street. They have 36 lanes, a crappy café and a dubious clientele of stoners, truckers and sundry levels of riffraff.

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