Softball: Musings on the Ceaseless Dilemma of Progress
Dear People,
For the very first game of this already insufferable decade, Chris Fure’s team crushed my own 16-7.* Yeah, not 16-7, but 16-7*, and I think we all know what that means; When viewed in the context of the broader aerobic whole, that pesky little asterisk clearly tells us that in reality, my side probably won 12-9. Of course, ultimately, that’s for historians, philosophers and stoners to ponder.
What’s beyond doubt, though, is that with my team still clinging to a totally reversible 9-7 deficit in the bottom of the 8th, Enid foul tipped a suggestive 3-2 curve ball that slammed right into Nanci’s glove, possibly after it ricocheted over her frustrated little head. As you know, of course, a caught ball that clears the hitter’s noggin is an automatic out under the rules of Major League Baseball, our own unaffiliated email-organized softball league and for that matter, even the Berkeley Association of Latvian-American Athletes (BALAA: “At BALAA, our hearts are in Riga but our balls are here”).
In any case, after the usual confusion, bickering and brouhaha, I declared by fiat that the hit was a foul, and thus Enid walked to first just two pitches later. Yet just seconds after that, Michael Davey sprinted over to play a just-taken video on his cell, which indisputably showed that the foul tip in question had indeed darted well above the zenith of Enid’s cranial hairage! As you can imagine, I was stunned; “Wow” I asked Michael, “When did cell phones get cameras?!”
The point is not that it was still too late to reverse the call (though it was), or that this travesty of justice so utterly demoralized my team that we promptly gave up 9 game-clinching runs on 4 hits, 2 walks and 83 errors (though it did). Rather, of course, the point is that it’s now clear that we must continue to navigate the delicate interplay between staggering advances in technology and our own communal desire to writhe nude in the innocence of our chosen pastime’s 19th century roots.
No, my friends, they did not have video replays, steroidal eye drops, plutonium-laced bats or even quasi-carbon-based humanoid back-up players in the 1880s. Yet this is the world we live in right now, and as a people, we will have to decide which of these marvels to embrace and which to firmly reject out of simple human dignity. I for one would welcome the newest generation of freako power-hitting bio-robots, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond
PS: Steve Seskin, the greatest singer-songwriter in the history of our community, will be playing at the new Freight and Salvage in downtown Berkeley, this Friday night! Details below…
http://www.freightandsalvage.org/steve-seskin
1/6/10
Softball: A Hole in our Souls
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now, it is full. As always, please let me know ASAP if you committed and need to cancel, and feel free to contact me later for news of reopened slots.
This week’s field fee is just $4, and because it will be Jonny’s last match before he returns to the dreary despair-filled streets of Melbourne, that includes a documentary DVD from the Australian Broadcasting Company, appropriately titled “Jonny’s Home: An Intimate Look at the Dreary Despair-filled Streets of Melbourne”. . .Raymond 845-7552
PS: Lest you forget!…..Steve Seskin, the greatest singer-songwriter in the history of our community, will be playing at the new Freight and Salvage in downtown Berkeley, this Friday night! Details below…
http://www.freightandsalvage.org/steve-seskin