1/16/01
Softball: Mea Culpa
Dear People,
As you know, I recently wrote all of you to say that last weekend’s game had to be cancelled in order to protect the community health. Although I did not specifically say so at the time, I acted decisively because I feared that the ominous slime pond which extended from the base of the backstop to just short of the pitcher’s mound was an unacceptable industrial hazard, and that had we tried to play a game, many of you would have undoubtedly come down with varying forms of the flu, garden lice, and even acute inoperable gingivitis.
It is now several days later, and I for one will not engage in cover-ups or convenient omissions of fact. The harsh reality is that no fewer than two sources informed me on Sunday that the mosquito-laden scum-bog in question had in fact dried substantially by late that morning, and that had we arrived with our darling red buckets in tow, we would have most likely been able to dredge the infield into a foundation of moist yet clearly playable rich and virgin caulking soils. US military satellite photos now confirm this analysis, and thus I must be held accountable for my decision of last Friday, made in organizational good faith, but abhorrent nonetheless.
Indeed, I am not going to sugarcoat the aerobic opportunity costs that have been so needlessly incurred. The fact is that I had 20 commits ready to go, and as we all know, the vigor with which we play this majestic sport means that the average player in our community loses 3.8 pounds per game. By not playing when we could have, the harsh but inevitable consequence is that 76 pounds of superfluous blubber is now jiggling needlessly about the local ether, a stark reminder of the shocking price for tepid leadership.
No, I make no excuses, and thus if the people so demand, I will immediately resign and return to my original career as a humble peddler of common leathers, fine grains and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (Any of which are recommended for Saturday’s inauguration of the little Bush boy). In the meantime, I currently remain stuck in Seattle, but there will still be a game at San Pablo this Sunday at noon, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Raymond
1/19/01
Softball: Hearty Fare for the Shift in Governance
Dear People,
There will (hopefully) be a game at San Pablo Park this Sunday, and as of now, there are still a few slots left. Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only, includes a delightful Scottish snacking tray of haggis, jellied eels and lardy cake….Ray [845-7552]
PS: I won't be back in the Bay Area until Saturday night, and thus if climatological conditions are ambiguous, you should check email or voicemail Sunday morning.
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