Softball: A Somewhat Circuitous Approach to Rallying the Base
Dear People,
Even though Pace’s team staved on my own in a grueling 18-15 paragon of gorgeous aerobic excellence, I personally accomplished something incalculably more important. Yes, let the record show that with two out, none on and a taut 10-10 tie in the top of the 5th, I slammed Enid’s lingering 3-1 slurveball a full 3 & 3/8 inches down the right field line, thereby smashing a six year community record for the shortest base hit in the history of our sport!
Indeed, over the years, Nanci, Peter and Steve Seskin have all hit several line drives in the 3-5 foot range, but at less than 4 inches, my blast beat this most cherished of all athletic records by at least 95%! Yeah, I’m not ashamed to say that the second that orb burrowed cold and still into the moist clay soils bordering the plate, I became so engorged with pride that I almost forgot to run!
Yet run I did, and while I don’t want to overstate the majesty of the moment, I do suspect that the sheer awe which it triggered is what caused Eli to dart from deep behind the batter’s box, grab the ball in question, and then, for no apparent reason, hurl it 200 feet over Alan’s outstretched arm at 1st. To be sure, rare is the monopoly on ineptitude when history is birthed.
The point is that I wasn’t going to organize a game next week because it’s Valentines Day, the President’s Day Weekend and Chinese New Year all rolled into one. But then I suddenly remembered that when Adams was taking heat from Jefferson for the Alien and Sedition Acts in that cold, bitter winter of 1798, it was Abigail herself who suggested that she and the President should get out of town, leave TJ to deal with the French, and hop on a soothing 18th century cruise to Shanghai. The great David McCullough set the scene in his eminent Adams bio, drawing extensively from the first lady’s always revealing diary:
“‘Darling’ Abigail told John in the White House pantry, “if we leave on the first ship out, we can escape the bullshit of the beltway and be in the Orient in time for the All-Sino Stick-ball Championship. The emperor would serve us tea and myrrh, we could sip sake under the cherry blossoms and be romantic with each other like we haven’t been since the first Continental Congress!” Adams blushed profusely, but he was also deeply annoyed by Abigail’s reckless confusion of Japanese and Chinese culture, and regardless, he was too busy dealing with the Republicans to seriously consider Abby’s proposal. And yet, deep in his bosom, he knew that she was right, and that if there were only more time, his weary bones could benefit from no greater tonic than a blend of rekindled romance, the American Presidency and an unabashed embracement of a venerable Chinese tradition.”
So yeah, you can ignore one of our greatest historians and conclude that the confluence of Valentine’s Day, the President’s Day Weekend and the Chinese New Year make planning a softball game somehow ‘inappropriate,’ or you can look raw American history in her rich narrative eyeballs. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning. . .Raymond
PS: A spirited defense of my favorite buffoon:
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/264042/february-08-2010/sarah-palin-uses-a-hand-o-prompter
2/11/10
Softball: Quickly Before I Snooze
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now there are still four slots left.
Please bring $4 for the field, which for this week only includes a complimentary post-game stein of Corison Cabernet Sauvignon (please allow 10 minutes for chilling)…Raymond