2/21/07

Softball: Excursions in the Past Conditional

Dear People,

In a grueling calamity of abstract aerobic drama, Jeff W’s team barely staved off my own, 20-19. Of course, if my side hadn’t suffered such a ceaseless assault of ghastly injury and general ineptitude, we would’ve kicked some serious ass. More specifically, if Broh had not been forced to leave after spraining his ankle in the 3rd, who could doubt that the entire game would’ve been different?

I don’t mean “different” in the RayBradbaryesque “Oh-my-God!;-That-little-boy-stepped-on-a-leaf-outside-the-trail-and-so-now-the future-itself-will-be-unpredictably-changed-forever!” type of different, but rather in the “we would’ve won 24-17” type of different. Yeah, sometimes when you’re discussing sport, it’s just easier to cut through the abstract theoretical bullshit of a potential parallel universe and simply tell it the way it is, or at least the way it would’ve been, or at least the way it would’ve been if it had only been so.

The point is that Broh’s sudden departure shook us to the marrow of our bones, which may explain why on his first pilgrimage to a game in almost a year, Daniel Farber transformed center right into an eerie black-hole-like wasteland where most line drives disappeared into the tundra beyond. Or why Ehud blared out the loudest, most confident and clarion call of “I got it!!” that I’ve ever heard, only to let “it”— a modest pop-up to second—plunge pointlessly to the ground behind him, just inches from his confused and flailing little arms. Or why in the bottom of the 8th, I myself tried to catch a blazing throw to 1st with my lower left shin.

Still, and despite our woes, I came to bat in the top of the 9th with two out, one on and my team trailing by just one tiny little run! Even better, I knew with every fiber of my being that I’d soon honor Broh’s sacrifice by smashing a go-ahead homer deep beyond left field, and that’s exactly what I did. Except that “technically” I popped up to short on the very first pitch, thereby costing us the entire game while simultaneously redefining the very essence of pure hircine leadership.

Sure, such a rarefied blend of injury, pain, delusion, scattered optical failure and raw managerial hircinitiude may not be pretty, but I happen to think that they are the most basic and necessary ingredients of vital athletic renewal. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Ray


2/22/07

Softball: Human Geography

Fear not; Gmail has once again hosed me with a curious attack on my primary account (right now I can receive emails, but not send them out), and so I reach out to you from this back-up address. Whether all of this is because of a profound hostility toward softball or just a subtle case of anti-Semitism, I honestly don’t know.

In any case, there will be a game at Cordornices this Sunday at 11AM, and of now there are no slots left. As always, please let me know ASAP if you committed and need to cancel, and feel free to contact me later if you’re trying to get in. Also, if it rains a lot between now and then or conditions are ambiguous, you should check your email.

This week’s field fee is just $3, and that includes a personally xeroxed fact sheet on the 20 most densely populated administrative units in the whole wide world…Ray 845-7552


2/25/07

Softball: Sunday 9:29AM: Screwed Again

Just got back from the homeland, and while every bone in my body yearns to play, the hard reality is that we’d need a thermo-nuclear hair’n’grass blow-dryer to salvage both the infield and center-right in time.

Patience/Courage/Deep introspection….Ray

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