3/6/13

Softball: Some Reportage Bordering on Codswallop

Dear People,

My team savagely disposed of Anthony's, 13-7, in one of those grueling, bittersweet affairs that is perhaps best captured by the stark divergence of two compelling athletic tales. I refer you to the bottom of the 6th, with tensions high and the score tied at five, when Vinnie slammed a searing one-out line-drive to sharp center-right. Kora perfectly played the darting orb as if she were a famished snow leopard pouncing on a river sturgeon, although after snagging her prey on the treacherous lip of the infield grass, she whirled around and tossed it fast and furious to Alan Shabel at 2nd. And then, with nary a second to spare, the Shabelator instantly hurled the ball right back to me, eagerly awaiting at first. Yeah, I still get chills when I think of the conceptual transcendence of the double play itself.

Now look, I'm fully aware that some buzzkills would argue that we hadn't executed a “real” double play, in that technically there was no runner on 1st at the time that Kora apparently decided there was one. Yet I would suggest that such analysis is both needlessly cynical and too clever by half. Regardless, if Kora is guilty of anything, it is merely of raw over-performance in the context of an opportunity denied, and as we all saw in the deeply satisfying innings that followed, there's nothing more galvanizing in all of sport.

I mention all this because in the very next inning, it was time for Vinnie to make his own indelible statement. I refer you, of course, to my surprising line drive to deep right, which headed so perfectly straight for the Vinster that he was able to freeze in place as the alluring little orb rolled right toward his casually scooping mitt. Alas, it turns out that he had just indulged in some tasty medicinal MaryJane, and thus, rather than scoop up the ball for the double-crushing throw back to the infield, he apparently started to giggle as it went darting through his legs and on to the bush beyond.

Gloriously, my single had been transformed into a zeitgeist-shifting 2-RBI homer that would practically guarantee our triumph, but for the record, this passion play is not about the game-time risks of the evil weed (catastrophic though they may be). Rather, this is a dialectical meta-moral about the Koranic opposition of raw under-performance in the context of an opportunity blown, because just for the record, there's nothing less galvanizing in all of sport.

The point is that softball itself is a giant metaphor for life as we know it, and the fact is that right now it's really stressful. Yeah, I myself am not sure if I'm gonna survive the day without being picked off by some kind of contemptible unforeseen meteor or piss-ant sinkhole. Yet in their own ways, I believe that both Kora and Vinnie reflect the inspiring gamut of human responses to these totally unacceptable menaces, ranging all the way from the ingestion of relaxing, quasi-hallucinatory substances to the deeply focused creation of relaxing substanceless hallucinations. Indeed, each is a towering symbol of free aerobic will-profoundly human, dauntless on its own terms, and utterly impervious to rancor or judgment (though from a strictly team perspective, ganja brownies mid-match could be considered a tad “unhelpful”). And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…..Raymond



3/7/13

Softball: Blithe Spirits

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now it is full. As always, please let me know ASAP if you committed and need to cancel, and if you still want in, feel free to get on the wait list or contact me later for news of reopened slots.

Please bring $4 for the field, which for this week only includes my long-awaited post-match symposium on angst and despair in modern athletic context…Raymond 845-7552

PS: My Generation…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROxvT8KKdFw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jh8k1QkWgX8


3/9/13

Softball Reminder: Set your clocks one hour forward tonight!. . .

. . .or you'll arrive an hour late for the game. When all is said and done, there's just no excuse for being a temporal doofus…Raymond

BACK