Softball: A Rookie’s Tale

Dear People,

Congratz to all on last week’s moliminous 17-15 tableau of sublime aerobic theater. Let the record show that Mike Davey’s team triumphed after my own contingent left the tying runs on base in the bottom of the 9th, and thus while it would be natural for me to feel marrow-deep bitterness in the wake of such heartbreak, in fact I’m just grateful to have gotten out of there with body and ego intact. Indeed, when I think that Roger flew all the way from Seattle to make his community debut, I still wonder if he may have inadvertently confused the genteel tenor of cyberlurking with playing in an actual game.

Now look, he’s my own sister’s cherished s.o., so I’m not about to belittle his efforts in front of all of you. Still, on his very first visit to the plate, and for reasons I don’t pretend to understand, Roger’s bat went blazing down the 3rd base line with such disconcerting force that it’s as if he had perhaps "misunderstood" the actual mechanics of the hitting experience. Fortunately, no one was maimed, and after some delicate diplomacy, I got a slim but forgiving plurality to reject his expulsion from the park.

Alas though, Roger’s later performance was equally precarious, in large part due to a noble but ultimately failed 5th inning lunge for a rapidly diving ball to shallow center left. In fairness, the primary problem was just aesthetic, marred as it was by the somewhat unseemly sight of his falling face first before tumbling about the verdant sod like curious cubes of spastic human dice. Of course Roger later clarified that it wasn’t really his fault, for he was simply "running faster than I could run."

In all candor, I believe that logic is strained if not outright specious, which is just one reason why I will soon talk to Toni about finding a new s.o. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11:00AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond

PS: For those who stayed after to play football, I am delighted to report that Toni’s decision to slam lip first into Mike Davey’s upper back has caused no significant damage! The bruise by her mouth has already begun to fade, and when all is said and done, the utility of one’s clavicle is totally overrated…


3/12/04

Softball: Gourmet

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, there are still four slots left.

Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only includes a delicate spit-roasted Liberty duck, pan-seared with pinot noir and wild mushroom risotto….Raymond

PS: I neglected to mention last time that Dave Hoge struck out FIVE batters at last week’s game, which hasn’t happened in our community since the Spanish-Amercian War. Such a God-like performance from such a humble guy…

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