3/30/00

Softball: Time, Maize and Faith

Dear People,

Congratz to all on last week’s slightly less than riveting but entirely honorable 18-11 paragon of fervent recreational courage. I must confess that as the fireplace across the street continued to spew out an endless stream of noisome smoke, I wondered if I was ethically obliged to cancel the game in order to protect the thoracic integrity of the community as a whole. While I soon concluded that ephemeral lung damage is a small price to pay for extended aerobic mirth, I also have no doubt that I personally suffered a mild case of carbon-monoxide poisoning, thus presenting a nuanced contextual setting in which to reflect on the eerie mystery of how I popped up five times in a row. Yes, my team lost fair and square, but lets stop pretending that residential soot skunge is a non-discriminatory pollutant.

In any case, this Sunday morning marks the end of daylight savings time, the cherished state manipulation of natural chronological processes that so greatly benefit our nation’s several dozen corn and sorghum farmers. Therefore, and because no other time is available, there will be a game this Sunday at CODORNICES at 5PM, IF I get enough players by tomorrow noon.

I understand that you might hesitate to commit to such an odd and stirring time of the day, but I am now utterly convinced that the administration can actually pull this off, and that it won’t get dark until at least 7:30. Oh sure, there has been Watergate and Iran-Contra and Whitewater, but I for one believe that there comes a time when the cynicism must end. So make that commit. Do it as a bold and brazen way of saying that despite it all, we make no apologies; We trust the government……. Raymond



3/31/00


Softball: Gifts before Dusk

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices on Sunday at 5PM. Please get there on time, since darkness will start to creep onto the field around 7:20, followed shortly after by the area’s adorable but technically rabid nocturnal grazing rats. The field fee will be $2, which includes ample free parking, a breathtaking sunset, and your choice of a pre-game Cognac or a complimentary tetanus booster, rump delivery….Raymond

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