4/11/01

Softball: Discursive

Dear People,

Congratz to all on last week’s spirited 23-19 paradigm of awesome aerobic excellence, played out as it was in the wake of a feisty initial inning of incessant and cantankerous bickering that nearly plunged our cherished game into a pointless abyss of quasi-litigious paralysis. Of course, it would be easy to say that such communal inanity is a failure of the human spirit within our very ranks, but with all due respect, there is something profoundly nurturing in watching stupid and impassioned debates about applications of the infield-fly rule, or the minimal boundaries of good-faith within the enemy-catcher context, or even about that most nettlesome of recreational dilemmas, the subtle distinction between "catching" and "dropping."

Indeed, the entire process left me both pert and proud, and frankly, I am simply grateful to have witnessed such an unabashed willingness to exercise such basic constitutional rights. Oh sure, I suppose in North Korea they would have just let Kim Jung Il’s team get away with all the close and dubious calls, but that’s not our scene at all, and I think you understand that. Yes, I certainly realize that athletic values vary, but if you’re willing to sacrifice free speech simply to get a more efficient game, then I would gently suggest that you go play in Pyongyang or Baghdad or Palo Alto, because I for one still plan to lead a community where the basic tenets of Jeffersonian athleticism continue to flourish.

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In any case, and as most of you know, this upcoming weekend is Easter Sunday, and so naturally, I was figuring that there would be no game this weekend, out of respect for the Goyemmeisters among you. But then I started thinking more about the real "meaning" of the Resurrection, and how in my opinion, the most misunderstood passage in the New Testament is when Jesus gave spiritual guidance to Judas in that searing summer of ‘0032, when his Nazareth Bluedevils found themselves dead last in the Galilean Stickball League. As you recall, Judas was heavily criticized by the Roman Press for his coaching style, but Jesus offered him comfort and succor, as was his wont, and even told the embattled prophet "It’s OK to lose, and even lose big-time, but always have the courage to play" [Matthew 24].

As you can imagine, I still get teary-eyed when I think of that sublime admonition, and naturally, it got me thinking about this weekend. Yes, like all good Jewish boys, I found myself asking that eternal question: What would Jesus do? And then I looked back at Matthew 24, and I thought of those magnificent words, and I suddenly felt the unbridled ecstasy of 1,000 pubescent girls writhing backstage with all of N’Sync. Admittedly, Judas would go on to have his own issues, but I think the Prince of Peace got it right, and out of simple respect, I’m sure we all know what needs to be done. And therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 5:00, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…..Raymond


4/12/01

Softball: Biotech

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 5PM, and as of now, there are still a few slots left. Please bring $1 for the field, which for this week only, includes a complimentary vial of freshly harvested Lithuanian bull semen ……..Raymond

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