4/12/00
Softball: The Challenge of Scales
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s oddly stirring 29-8 obliteration of competitive aerobic dignity, a game in which the very notion of hope was found wanting, just another victim of a callous world’s endless scorn. I for one must take responsibility on two levels, both as Bioathletic statistician in charge of inter-team equilibrium, and as captain of my own contingent, an honorable group of 10 lonely and timid individuals, utter strangers to each other and to themselves, and thus clearly unprepared for the nine long innings that awaited them.
In fairness, of course, my visionary leadership showed initial promise, and while we first drank deep from the sanguine waters of optimism and mirth (innings 1-4, in which we gallantly played to a 4-4 tie), we then somehow stumbled into a harsh vortex of truly breathtaking ineptitude, as the "tone" of the match subtlety shifted (innings 5-9, in which we averaged two errors per player per inning and were outscored 25-4).
While I could offer you plausible excuses designed to assuage the hurt, the bottom line is that I mistakenly put the two most fearsome players in our balance-craving community on the very same team, and for that, I stand both naked and nude before the judgment of recreational history. I know that’s not a pretty sight, and indeed, if the forces of athletic democracy so demand, I am willing to return to my humble cottage in rural Moldavia, and continue my simple but rewarding career in leathers, grains, DSL and myrrh. In the meantime though, there will be another game at Codornices this Saturday at 5PM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Raymond
4/15/00
Softball: Equities
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices tomorrow at 5PM, and as of now, there are still a few slots left. Please bring $2 for the field, 20% of which will be invested in a highly leveraged, profitless and utterly doomed dotcom retailer, as part of my own sassy attempt to calm the markets….Raymond 845-7552
PS: There are disturbing rumors of continued rain, but as we all know, Codornices has drainage of nearly chilling efficacy; You should check voice or email if conditions are ambiguous.
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