4/13/05
Softball: The Inherent Risk of Replacement Parts
Dear People,
As you know, I am a fervent believer in inductive reasoning (or deductive reasoning, or the Socratic method or Boolean logic or Tarot cards or whatever it’s called). The point is that I have spent the last several days contemplating how my team entered the 9th with an unassailable 21-11 lead over Johnny’s shell-shocked contingent of pitiful PVAs (Persistent Vegetative Athletes), only to blow it all in a final-inning implosion that left my own side flummoxed, frightened, and utterly degraded, 23-22. I have a theory.
About .01 seconds after we went down in flames, it suddenly occurred to me that Art had pitched nearly the entire game, giving up just over one run per inning in a bone-chilling performance of steely aplomb. Yet with such a commanding lead, I could practically taste the fruits of destiny as Ehud took control of the pitcher’s mound for the final coup de grace. Indeed, he had served as our rotator with nearly flawless distinction, and thus it had never even occurred to me that he might not "understand" the unique demands of the pitcher’s craft.
And yet somehow, it was as if the Huudster willed Johnny’s team into a state of frenetic rebirth, for every batter from Deb to Alex to Jeff melded with every pitch in a ceaseless pounding of hit after hit after hit. Oh sure, our infield made a few errors (perhaps a dozen or two), but ultimately, we all know that it is the pitcher, and the pitcher alone, who must enforce the vital lines of aerobic containment.
Ehud, alas, was not much of an enforcer that fateful day, though for what it’s worth, I will not engage in prurient statistical speculation by pointing out that had he pitched the entire game like he did that single inning, Johnny’s team would have scored 108 runs. That’s just not my scene, and I simply won’t go there. Still, I do indeed have a theory, and it’s a concise one: We should’a stuck with Art. And therefore there will be a game at San Pablo #2 this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond
4/15/05
Softball: Toil
Dear People,
There will be a game at San Pablo #2 this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now there are still three slots left.
Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only includes the right to unionize into a spontanious confederation of athletic labor…Raymond 845-7552
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