4/28/10

Softball: Arizona

Dear People,

On a warm and sultry East Bay day, Chris Fure’s team crushed my own on the last hit of the game, 19-18. It was a curiously familiar denouement, in which Tom’s staggering game-winning RBI to deep center left was once again executed just moments after Anne arrived to cheer him on. Indeed, there is clearly something magical about the tingly romantic power of new nuptial passion, for look what I wrote just four short months ago. . .

In any case, the game’s real galvanizing beacon was Tom Bilyard, whose shocking 400-foot blast to the yak-laden tundra beyond left field was one of the longest, highest and sassiest homers in the history of our community. Of course Billiard Boy had every motivation to flex his beautiful British loins, for cheering him on in the bleachers was his lovely bride-to-be!

Anne later confided in me that if Tom had not distinguished himself, she might have felt too awkward or demoralized to go through with the wedding. But distinguish himself he did, and thus these two towering symbols of the nuanced interplay between email-organized sport and young English love will tie the knot next week!

Needless to say, the Tomohawk has continued to flourish since the aerobic consummation of his wedded bliss, and now that Anne is back from her sojourn to Japan, I expect that his dominance at the plate will continue to grow. Oh sure, he’s still an undeniable Brit, a foreigner in every sense of that chilling word, and indeed, what Stephan Hawking might even call an alien. Yet, unlike the Hawkinator, I don’t believe we have to fear such folks just because they have funny accents or are technically illegal or happen to fly in on stadium-sized nuclear-powered fighter jets from 50,000 light years away.

No, my friends, what Dr. Hawking and Governor Boobster do not understand is that whether your aliens come from London, Guadalajara or some piss-ant spherical piece of overrated mud in the Andromeda galaxy, they’re all still just people like you and me, and thus as much as I happen to believe that Tom is actually a Kenyan citizen of partial Neptunian origin, I for one will never ask for his papers (unless, of course, his hitting starts to tank). And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond

Softball: 11:10 (And: Live in Broh’s House!!)…

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11:10, give or take a couple minutes, and as of now it is full. As always, please let me know ASAP if you committed and need to cancel and feel free to contact me later for reopened slots. For this week, please use only email to make sure I get those messages.
The slightly delayed game-time is not because I am out to torment you with brazen attacks on your need for routine, but rather because I will soon be in a distant and exotic land (Los Angeles), and I will not be returning to the Oakland airport until Sunday at 10:15AM. Assuming the plane’s on time, I should be able to get to the park sometime between 11:07 and 11:09, but if by chance this plan goes horribly, horribly awry, Chris Fure will bring the equipment and have the same powers of organizational tyranny that I currently wield. Indeed, brutality well delegated is brutality well preserved.

$4 for the field/See ya Sunday…Raymond

PS: If you’re looking for a charming and totally renovated 3-bedroom craftsman house to rent for $1,350 a month, then Broh has what you’re looking for! Moreover, and while he hasn’t actually told me this, I believe he’d lower your rent by 50% if you ever hit a grandslam and three triples in a single game…

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/apa/1708636226.html

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