5/27/15

Softball: A Pastime for the Ages

Dear People,

My team baptized Chris Fure's in the cold, briny waters of Berkeley's Total-Loser-Lake, 29-26, but they have nothing to be ashamed of (except for Frank). Indeed, they methodically clawed their way back from a 1st-inning 13-0 implosion, and by the bottom of the 7th, they were about to tie the score at 23 when the Frankfurter inexplicably took off for 3rd on a lemming-like 2-out suicide-dash. The poor lad slid into base a full 4 seconds after Andreas caught the throw from shallow left in his rally-destroying glove, and in retrospect, the entire spectacle was probably just a cry for help. In any case, and no matter the psycho-aerobic explications, Chris' contingent would never regain the momentum that they had lovingly nurtured for the previous 5 innings. Pity.

Of course, in the grand scheme of the temporal whole, none of this really matters, and perhaps that was actually what Frankie was trying to say when he took off from 2nd for no discernable reason. The fact is that as of this week, we're now 18 years old as a recreational folk (see http://www.eslnotes.com/ray/051997.html), and at our current individual rates of corporeal degradation, I'm concerned that in just 18 more years, those of us who are already older than 10 may not be as athletically robust as we are now, or even worse, we might already be catatonic or dead or both. Needless to say, Frankenstein has captured the existential crux of the problem that we face as a carbon-based species, but until just last week, I was convinced that there was no realistic solution. Fortunately though, a few days ago I happened to come across this article in the Daily Cal:

http://www.dailycal.org/2015/05/17/uc-berkeley-researchers-discover-new-molecule-reverse-aging-process/

Yeah, I take a certain pride in being part of a University that's going to reverse the stupid aging process once and for all, but I do confess a certain lack of confidence in their ability to do so 'in time,' if you get my drift. This is why, as the organizer of this theoretically eternal league, I would like to gently suggest that Jim, Paul, Alan S, Ehud, Susan, Corey, Andreas, Tristan, Olga, Stephanie and all our other bio-related superstars pivot their scholarly foci to the urgent task at hand, lest none of us find ourselves alive---or even just capable of batting---come our much anticipated 100th anniversary game in the Spring of 2097.

The point is that I'm all for deepening our knowledge of crotaphytid lizards, metabolic engineering and global diversity gradients, among other things that I know nothing about, but at a minimum, I think this league's exceptional concentration of kick-ass scientists should indulge our own communal interests by now concentrating on what may turn out to be the three most glorious and transformative words in the storied history of the English tongue---“Alk5 kinase inhibitor.” At a minimum, I think we can all agree on that, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning. . . Raymond



5/29/15

Softball: Headlines

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11 and as of now there are still four slots left.

Please bring $4 for the field, which, as always, includes my personal pledge to you that no matter how popular this league becomes, I will never engage in racketeering, money laundering or wire fraud unless I'm absolutely sure I won't get caught…Raymond 845-7552

PS: Sure, Ted Cruz is more batshit crazy, and Donald Trump would be more outright nauseating, but this week's joyous announcement reminds me that only Rick Santorum can instantly rekindle nostalgia for the Spring of 2012 . . . (An awkward confession: I like the first as much as the second) . . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7pv7sO5Gng

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvZWUQ9C7Jo

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