6/2/04

Softball: Living with Shame

Dear People,

Congratz to all on last week’s intensely well crafted 12-9 display of everything that makes softball so much more joyous than, say, Latin, Quaaludes or croquet in the nude (Three previous pursuits that I ultimately concluded are for total losers). Of course, this is not to say that ours is a pastime which is only majesty and mirth, for even the most stirring of these games will tear skin, bone and ego with nary a patina of pity, and I’m not writing that just because I happen to like the way it sounds.

The hard reality is that as my team placed the tying run on deck with two outs and one on in the bottom of the 9th, we had such disarming momentum that I remember thinking only the actions of a spazoid could prevent our rendezvous with victory. Indeed, Jeremy’s defenses seemed particularly jittery and brittle, and as I scanned the terrain from my 2nd base runner’s perch, it was as if the raw sagacity and speed of Ricky Henderson himself was coursing through my veins.

Alas, it appears that what I was actually feeling was the disorienting effects of Attention Deficit Disorder, which may explain why I mindlessly shot off from second as soon as Art drilled a blistering ground ball into Keith’s wobbly glove at 3rd. Given that the throw back to first was far from assured, AND that there was no runner on first who was forcing me into Keith’s admittedly sensual but still merciless game-ending tag, it is clear that my mad dash for glory was in fact the actions of a captain whose leadership is nothing short of a miserable failure.

Yeah, that’s right; Go to Google.com and type in "miserable failure." Sure, you’ll see the usual links to the White House and nothing about me, but that’s the whole point. Even my failure is a failure—cold, anonymous and festering in the thoroughly beaten hearts of my 10 embittered teammates. It’s harsh being me, but I honestly believe that I don’t have a choice. And therefore there will be a game at Cordonices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond


6/4/04

Softball: Vowels

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, there are still four slots left.

Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only includes a special post-game spelling bee, lovingly limited to one-syllable body part nouns…Raymond

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