6/3/14

Softball: A Brief Excursion in what we Kant Understand

Dear People,

My team barely beat back Chris Fure's in a legally dubious morass of epistemological intrigue, 19-18, and if you must know, I feel pretty skanky about the whole damn thing. If you'd be so kind, here's what gone down; We had actually fallen behind 8-2 in the 2nd and were on the verge of total collapse when Dave Ross blasted a searing bases-loaded 2-out line drive into the lush green grasses of deep, sensual left. As Steve La Porta darted from 2nd, Jay “deny-me-not” Jurisich seized the orb in question and then unleashed one of the most sublime bullets back to 3rd that I've ever seen, and in so doing, he appeared to beat Steve by 2.7 seconds and a solid foot and a half. Naturally, I breathed a giant sigh of relief, but then, and for reasons I don't pretend to understand, Tony authoritatively signaled that good 'ol PortabelloLegs was actually safe! To be sure, a crisis was brewin', and brewin' hard.

As the Furinator's 3rd-base coach for that particular inning, Steve's fate was clearly Anthony's call to make under the sacred and inviolable rules of Unaffiliated Email-Organized Softball, and yet because every player on that field indignantly spazzed out as if the Antman had suddenly succumbed to a sinister outbreak of intensive temporal dyslexia, I felt I had no choice but to overrule the call, thereby denying Chris' team a run whose absence would come to forever haunt them. Indeed, I myself remain haunted to this very day, for I happen to think that we're a league of laws, not men, and regardless, the objectivity of perception is a shamelessly subjective mistress that can't simply be trampled afoot by the impassioned whims of the aerobic mob. Yeah, that's obviously what the eminent froggy phenomenologist Maurice Merleau-Ponty would've said, and I don't even know who he is.

The point is that it soon became clear that this lawless bogus-ass invocation of “objective reality” was beginning to take its toll, and that was never more apparent than in the bottom of the 5th, when Darryl hit a 2-out, 1-on can of corn back to that familiar shallow left. Jay moved briskly to make the easy catch, yet he still looked shaken and wan, and sure enough, the ball bounced off his fine leather webbing and directly to the ground behind him. Curiously though, he seemed oblivious to the situation at hand, and thus, in what appeared to be yet another robust reinterpretation of the universe as it really isn't, the Jayster spent the next two seconds racing forward and focusing on the runner advancing from 1st while simultaneously preparing to hurl an ultimately pointless vacuum of non-orbal nothingness.

Needless to say, Kora made it to second without breaking a sweat, and in his own unsightly way, Jay completed the lesson that Anthony began for all of us; No, my friends, not merely that stark is the interplay between the rapid-fire chaos of sport and the inscrutable doors of perception, but even more importantly, that as a recreational people who cherish both the rule of law and the dignity of man, it is not for us to challenge or scorn what others may truly see in their bosoms. Unless, of course, everyone knows they're being totally retardo. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond

6/6/14

Softball: Our own Steve at the Freight!

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now there are still four slots left.

Please bring $4 for the field, which for this week only includes a complimentary post-match analysis of your Enneagram personality type and capital tendency, including The Giver (pride), The Mediator (sloth) and The Epicure (Salad with dressing-chunky garden style)….Raymond

PS: The Great Steve Seskin, singer-songwriter extraordinaire, athlete not-so-extraordinaire, and one of the vital moral backbones of this entire community, will be performing tomorrow night at the Freight and Salvage (and other local places at other times, including at Steve's very own house on the night of Sunday, June 15th ). Details below:

http://www.thefreight.org/steve-seskin-friends-0

http://www.steveseskin.com/calendar/upcoming

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