Dear People,
My team flambéed Jim McGuire's on the searing fire of talent denied, 15-11. Two times they loaded the bases, and two times they left all those eager ducks on the pond, and that's something that Jim will need to reflect on for the rest of his days. He may also want to reconsider the inspirational tone with which he leads his troops forward; I refer you to the bottom of the 6th, with his side down by eight, two out, Jerry girding for home and his very own progeny at the plate. “Come on, Mateo,” Jim cried out in aching desperation, “Your dad's at 3rd and it's Father's Day-Now just don't blow it!” Of course on the very next pitch, Mateo naturally blew it.
I was particularly gratified by this week's triumph given that just one week earlier I was lying supine and bleeding from that nasty hopper to 1st. I actually considered positioning myself in the safety of deep, deep, right, across the street on Euclid, yet Jonny convinced that me I had no choice but to jump back on that proverbial wildass burro. Yeah, that Jonny, who once again flew 10,000 miles from Melbourne just to be with his aerobic peeps, and whose incalculable contributions to our beloved pastime continue to stagger. I refer you to the transformative iPhone app here:
http://www.baseballcoin.com/
Now look, I don't even know what a smartphone is and regardless, I'm not about to shill for our hero's curious labor of love-that's just not my thing. Yet I would gently point out that Jonny's app is the only one on earth that allows you to know what every professional baseball player is making per season, per hour and even per minute (talk about a veritable feast of practical information!!), and yes, I'm not going to deny that such data may give you the leverage you need to up your own salary in this community. Fine. Just bring your agent.
In any case, with this app you'll know that Alex Rodriguez is the highest paid player at $61,728 per hour played, while the great yet deeply misunderstood Tyler Pastornicky (2nd base, Atlanta Braves), skimps by at a shameful MLB low of just $988 per hour played. That's a travesty of compensatory justice, of course, but I would like to gently point out that our beloved Jonny himself toiled for five straight weeks, or about 250 hours, to produce this applicative Godsend, and yet for reasons I don't pretend to understand, it's only sold 17 copies since its much-hyped June debut. At 70% of $1.99 per sale, this amounts to $23.68 total, or approximately 9 cents per hour of selfless laboral love. For those who are afraid of math, that's 1/10,000th per hour what Tyler Pastonicky makes, and let's be honest-that guy sucks!
The point is that Jonny and I have talked long and hard about this, and while he's an emotively stout soul by both birth and temperament, his gorgeous tri-national pupils grew moist and disconsolate as he tenderly confessed to me that he wouldn't feel like a truly worthy programmer unless he could up his remuneration to at least 1/5000th Pastornicky's hourly base (or more specifically, 18 cents per hour). My heart nearly cleaved in two when I saw the shame on his face, but I also think you know where I'm going with this.
Oh sure, you can hang out with your iPhone and stick with your old apps and chat with that stupid Siri thing and basically tell the whole world that you think Tyler Pastornicky is worth over 10,000 times per hour more than Jonny (Does Pastornicky have three passports?!-No, no he doesn't), but I think we all know that for those of you with iPhones who love the vital nexus between cell technology, useless financio-athletic trivia and the simple dignity of the floundering entrepreneur, your next App Store purchase is surely ordained by the Lord. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond
PS: Our own Steve Seskin, singer-songwriter extraordinaire, official user of the baseballcoin iPhone app (in theory, eventually), and current moral backbone of this entire community, will be at the Freight and Salvage this Friday evening! Details here:
http://www.freightandsalvage.org/steve-seskin-liz-longley-julia-sinclair
PPS: Even more greatness amongst us!: Live with Nanci Pecker, former moral backbone of this entire community (2002-2006), and her two awesome pooches!!. . .
Room/Bathroom/Houseshare in Emeryville:
$800/month gets you a sunny bedroom w/ large closet, private bathroom (99% of the time), shared living room, dining area, eat-in kitchen (with great commercial stove), laundry, and beautiful outdoor deck area.
You must love dogs! There are 2 big ones here. There is also cable TV and wireless internet. The house is really central to Oakland, Berkeley and 10 minutes into SF. BART is about one mile away. Street parking is readily available.
Please email me if interested: nanci_g_p@yahoo.com.
First, last, and security will get you a key.
6/22/12
Softball: Risk
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11 and as of now there are still four slots left.
Please bring $4 for the field, which for this week only includes a personal $100 billion policy in catastrophic asteroid insurance for the duration of the match….Raymond 845-7552
PS: Lest you forgot, Steve Seskin, tonight (!), at the Freight and Salvage…
http://www.freightandsalvage.org/steve-seskin-liz-longley-julia-sinclair
PPS: The Perennial Relevance of German-Greek Tensions….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur5fGSBsfq8
PPPS: The Perennial Relevance of Jewish-Palestinian Tensions…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NeqZOce1fE&feature=related