7/2/14
Softball: Freedom
Dear People,
Chris Fure's team apparently stunned Anthony's 25-23, but I wasn't there and that's simply not important now. The bitter truth is that I've just gotten back from Seattle, I've been working 16 hour days, I suspect I have PTSD (Post-Traumatic Sister Disorder), and after some quick Google searching, I'd argue that I have several cognizable claims under Article 2 of the Geneva Convention on the Treatment of Prisoners of War.
The upshot is that I'm still drained to the marrow, and since this upcoming Friday marks the 238th anniversary of the birth of the country, I was thinking we could take a week off from playing in order to rest and be mellow, and, after yesterday's tragic news from the World Cup, perhaps also gather together at a local café to tell our favorite and most scurrilous anti-Belgian jokes. But then I started thinking about what our Founding Fathers would've wanted us to do, and while I'm obviously not going to quote myself verbatim, I would gently encourage you to read what I wrote y'all just 15 years ago this week . . .
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As the 4th approaches, I am reminded of the intense pressures that Jefferson, Adams and Franklin must have felt when they decided to pen that most momentous of definitive divorces, their very lives at stake as cunning little fish'n chips eating British troops scampered throughout the Pennsylvania bush. These intrepid and indefatigable revolutionaries would have no doubt given anything to play an exciting game of softball, but stuck as they were in the 18th century, they had to settle for yeoman farming and really boring arguments about the nature of mercantilism. I think you see my point. Make that commit. Do it for the children. Do it now. Indeed, the line from Alexander Hamilton to Jackie Robinson to all of you is the very essence of the American experience.
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Truth be told, I still get chills when I read such a compelling argument for aerobic action, and given that Dave Ross wants to celebrate his 70th birthday by hitting three 2-RBI triples to right (in theory), there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning . . . Raymond
PS: Since I wasn't there, the Furinator has written up a somewhat detailed recap of last week's match. If you're not inclined to peruse it all, I can tell you right now that the most startling revelation was that while Greg Laddish is clearly the most intimidating power-hitter this league has ever known, the ease with which he's willing to jump from team to team suggests nothing less than the shamelessly loose morals of a common garden tart . . .
Chris Reports:
Perhaps the greatest comeback in the history of the Community: Fure's team ("the Victims") was down 21-3 in the bottom of the 4th to Tony's team ("the Avengers"), when Fure was forced aside by a bi-partisan delegation of misfits that insisted upon a trade. It was decided that Greg Laddish, after hitting two grand slams in the 2nd and 4th innings would switch with promising "newbie" in-fielder Jonathan Oligmueller. The trade stopped the Avenger's offensive onslaught and began a trickle of runs for the Victims, which (of course) benefited by the 2 out defense (4 out offense) Rule when a team is down by more than 10.
The Avengers were still in great shape in the 5th, when Fure made yet another out in his 1:6 performance on the day. Corey's words captured the sentiment of the team, and the judgment on the field: "Fure, between your pitching and your hitting, it's like you're playing for the other team." Yet the Victims would have their day in court... Corey led off in the bottom of the 8th, still down by 10 (21-11). What followed could only best be described as an "Accepted Deal with the Devil": Fure then got his first hit of the game and everyone answered the call, as the Avengers gave up 14. This switched the 9th inning from a "cake-walk" into a "Plea Deal" denied, as Tony led off his team with a long fly-out, and soon it became easy pickin's for the Victims, who played conservatively: giving up only one run for the sure outs. The 25-22 loss by the Avengers will be remembered as the most dramatic turn-around in the history of Rayball, made even more notable by a few highlights...
1. In the bottom of the 8th come-back, the bases were loaded for Big Greg. The shift was put on him, where new superstar short Ed Cabrera played him in the grass as a mid-fielder. With his family in the audience all expecting him to hit the trees again, Greg swung gently to bunt the ball softly through the vacant short-stop position, scoring two RBIs.
2. Byron the Australian, who never played the game before, was nearly perfect at the plate. This occurred after wiffing at the ball a couple of times in his first at-bat, getting a "New Camper Rule" call from the bench -- a Rule that never needed to be applied, as he then connected for line-drive after line-drive in every at-bat.
3. Debbie's friend Kim, who came into the game after being out of it for 20 years, smacked `em long and hard all game long, plus made a perfect turn at second on a key double-play initiated by Corey in the 7th.
4. Frank giving-up Fure's only hit of the game, which was truly not a hit at all: Frank was perfect in the field until the 8th, when he let Fure's two hop grounder go right between his legs -- many could argue that it was the game decider, as it was the only error of the inning and the "out" would have certainly changed the bottom of 8th's fateful mojo.
5. Bill Nichol's return from the Blues Capital of the World (Sweet Home Chicago) didn't miss a beat: solid performance in the field and at the plate -- this was actually the reason for the early game mis-match: Bill was scored as an "expected non-performer" in the pre-game team match-ups. Thus, the 4th inning trade had to be made largely because Bill didn't suck.
6. In the 8th inning, Casey Filson (Fure's former Albany League team-mate and former band keyboardist) happened to walk on the field and, thus, take-over for Jaime who left early to catch his 1pm poker game at the Oaks Club. Casey played flawlessly behind the plate and further scored the Avenger's only RBI in the 9th... Alas, too little too late.
7. Final hats off to David Ross, who led-off in the 3rd, 6th, and 7th with solid base hits, after Fure's consistent rally ending third outs.
And so, the Avengers turned into the Victims, and the Victims had their revenge.
7/4/14
Softball: Bunker Hill (Forgotten Giants in Anglo-American History)
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now there are still six slots left.
Please bring $4 for the field, which for this week only includes my long awaited post-match soliloquy on John Montagu, 5th Earl of Sandwich-the eminent Tory Parliamentarian and member of the Privy Council (1768-1792)-whose eloquent defense of the Empire is no longer taken seriously merely because, I believe, his official title was '5th Earl of Sandwich'….Raymond 845-7552
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