7/7/99

Softball: The Mysteries of Human Interaction

Dear People,

Congratz to all on last weekend's magnificently succulent barbie, as well as the preceding 17-16 paragon of dazzling competitive exhilaration. Rare is the 9th inning aerobic climax that features a two-out game-tying triple from an utterly confused and novice Danish immigrant, and yet there it was, the ball's brilliantly sensual trajectory as shocking in its force as it was majestic in its yaw, streaking from the intimate environs of the nurturing batter's cage to the deep center field hinterlands of the Cordonices tundra. That it all took place on the 4th of July adds to a confluence of personal emotions, for as we celebrated the nation's birthday and I feasted on my succulent post-game loin shank, I could not help thinking that as a people, Danish-Americans had long been the most misunderstood of our ethnic minorities. Thus, it was with profound serenity that many of us later felt the joyously dancing spirits of James Madison, Lou Gherig and Hans Christian Anderson in an all encompassing fete of Scandinavian democratic athleticism. Oh sure, his team ended up losing, but, ya know, whatever.

Speaking of great drama in sport, it turns out that this Sunday, July 11th, is the 94th anniversary of one of the truly pivotal emotional ruptures in the history of the Majors. According to the eminent historian Michael Gershman---whose specialties include Medieval France and Early Modern Baseball--- famed Chicago Cub shortstop Joe Tinker and his equally renowned 2nd base teammate Johnny Evers (yes, of THE legendary Tinker-to-Evers-to-Chance double play machine) came to blows over who was to blame for a disastrous error in the 8th that led to a humiliating loss against the Cleveland Naps. After the bloody altercation, in which fellow Cubs had to pull them apart in front of 30,000 bewildered fans, Tinker approached his colleague and said "Look Evers, if you and I talk to each other, we're only going to be fighting all the time. You play your position, and I'll play mine, and let it go at that." Evers was heard to respond "that suits me," and according to Gershman, these two giants of the game "did not speak to each other for the next 33 years."

While we obviously do not want to "celebrate" the commencement of three decades of rancor, I feel it is important to honor the breach as an acknowledgment of the heavy toll that dedication to sport can take, particularly if the individual players involved happen to be morons. Therefore, there will be a game this Sunday, July 11th, at 11AM, at Codornices Field, IF I get enough commits by this Friday Noon....Raymond

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