7/8/15
Softball: Buy it! (A Somewhat Shameless Expansion of the Narrative Objective)
Dear People,
My team rallied from a 7th-inning 15-5 booty-kicking to snuff out Chris Fure's with a stirring renaissance of unforeseen competence, 22-21. The fact is that by the bottom of the 6th, I found myself looking deep into the abyss of a seemingly irreversible aerobic implosion, which may explain why I fielded Lora K's searing 2-out grounder to 1st by also scooping up a pint's worth of pure granulated infield-dirt, which, for reasons I don't pretend to understand, went hurling straight into my mouth, eyes and perfectly innocent nostrils. Yeah; Who knew that the human head had so many orifi?!
It was, to be sure, a moment of stark personal debasement, yet while Chris' peeps broke out in derisive har-dee-hars, the fact is that I still made the out at 1st with the suddenly compromised visual acuity of a long-tongued Norwegian nectar bat, and with that, the zeitgeist shifted.
Indeed, we wracked up 14 runs in the very next inning, and with Ali's 4th hit and 5th RBI leading the way, the Furinator's contingent simply buckled under the strain of our burgeoning eptitude. Now in fairness, they still maintained their dignity until the very bottom of the 9th, but with two out and the tying run at 2nd, Frank popped out to Angela in shallow right, thereby sealing his own legacy as the conceptually tragic face of disappointment personified.
The point is that this weekly missive is an objective reportage of the games of this community, and as such, one thing I will never do is subject you to some sort of irrelevant promotional mission-creep, as if the 457 of you receiving this were simply potential consumers as opposed to dedicated athleticists. Still, just a few hours ago I happened to be thinking how the women of this league will always play better if they're totally in tune with their bodies and cycles, but until today, the only book from which they could truly glean that sagacity was almost a decade old, as seen here….
http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1233735693&sr=1-3
Fortunately though, it turns out that I'm the ghostly co-author, and as such, it just occurred to me that as of today, there's a brand new 20th anniversary edition available which will give every woman in this league the latest and most awesome information available for staying in tune with those same bodies and cycles, as seen here….
http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Fertility-Anniversary-Edition/dp/0062326031/ref=dp_ob_title_bk
So sure, you of the better sex can use all that fantabulous up-to-date knowledge to breed or not breed or finally understand your inscrutably amazing bodies or to just play more hormonally targeted softball, but the sad truth is that those of my own pitiful gender will never get to exploit any of this. Or, more bluntly stated, it wouldn't have really mattered if Frank had been in his own little self-perceived luteal phase, because in the end, his was a destiny without favor, victory or estrogen. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Raymond
7/10/15
Softball: Just in Case
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now there are two slots left.
Please bring $4 for the field, which for this week only includes a complimentary British high tea (between the 6th and 7th innings) and a bountiful selection of on-site bail bond services for the duration of the match . . . Raymond 845-7552
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