7/9/03

Softball: Another Moment of Destiny

Dear People,

Congratz to all on last week’s blood-curdling 16-15* descent into near aerobic catastrophe. I, for one, will never forget when Don Loeb smashed the very first pitch of the game into the dark shrub-covered tundra beyond deep left field, and straight into the perfectly innocent noggin of an oblivious four-year-old boy. Fortunately, the little tyke’s instantaneous shrieking assured me that serious injury was averted, and thus I could breath a sigh of relief. Indeed, it was quickly apparent that the only long-term consequences were a probable $5 billion dollar lawsuit against the city (pity), and the unseemly taint of an asterisk if Chris’ team were to go on and win by just one run. Curiously, Chris’ team went on to win by just one run.

Now look, I know you think this is fairly petty, but the simple fact is if that reckless little whippersnapper hadn’t been sitting there, the ball never would’ve ricocheted off his head into the impenetrable thicket beyond, and in fact it’s even possible that Broh would have kept the Loebanator to a double. At the time I scored the hit as a home-run, partly in deference to the raw power of Don’s game-opening statement, and partly out of respect for the kid, who in fairness, should not have had to endure the nastiest headache of his life for a lame-ass "take-it-over" play.

Yet in retrospect, I don’t think either of these reasons is particularly compelling, and thus I have no choice but to keep that asterisk stuck firmly to the score in question; So yes, Chris’ team "won" 16-15* (and for that matter, Don’s pediphobic assault was an "accident"), but frankly, Pyrrhic is the victory that feels, looks and quacks like nothing less than a stark and eerie tie. And therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Raymond



7/2/03

Softball: Career Development

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11:00, and as of now, there are still THREE slots left.

Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only, and in light of the current job market, includes a heartfelt letter of recommendation signed by me personally. And unlike most letters of this dubious genre, mine praises your hitting, fielding and uncanny ability to maximize industrial productivity….Raymond 845-7552

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