7/11/00
Softball: The Chilling Risk of Really Stupid Flight Paths
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s oddly stirring 25-17 paradigm of sheer aerobic jocundity. Indeed, the rapture of once again playing on a field in which our communal sovereignty was uncontested meant that as my own team’s rally imploded with five consecutive errors in the bottom of the 8th, I myself felt not despondency, but rather buffeting waves of profound inner calm. The succulent barbecue and grueling hour of ultimate Frisbee that followed only added to the majesty of the day, and if nothing else, further confirmed that under-developed lung capacity offers no particular advantages for those with vomiphobia.
In any case, and as most of you know, this Sunday, July 16th, is the 13th anniversary of perhaps the greatest ornithological tragedy in the history of professional baseball. I was only a kid at the time, but I’ll never forget watching ESPN as the defending champion New York Mets battled the Atlanta Braves at fabled Shea Stadium, with the score tied at four, bases loaded and one out in the top of the 7th. As tensions mounted, Bob Ojeda hurled a shockingly sensual knuckleball that Braves outfielder Dion James smashed high toward left field, but before the ill-fated orb could ascend to its natural zenith, it suddenly collided with a bilabial Long Island rutting pigeon in full flight! Both the unfortunate bird and ball plummeted to the ground with a giant thud, and shortly after, James was inexplicably awarded a ground ruled double!
Perhaps discombobulated by the sheer enormity of the injustice that befell them, the Mets went on to lose 11-4, but as you can imagine, not before a firestorm of both team and fan protest. Admittedly, James’ ball was most likely going to be caught, and at this late date, I would not quarrel with that. Nevertheless, what remains most disturbing to me is that the body of this completely innocent and awe inspiring animal was quickly retrieved by Shortstop Rafael Santana, who gingerly handed it to a batboy, who promptly tossed it into a nearby trash bin! As far as professional baseball was concerned, this nameless symbol of pristine winged pulchritude was as insignificant and expendable as a plate of fried chicken, and that is something that I can no longer accept.
Perhaps I’m just too emotional, but sometimes when I’m looking up at the giant stately elms of the Codornices tundra, I’ll spot a couple border pigeons in the upper branches who are frolicking, making love, or just preparing to release one of their tiny little turd droppings, and I’ll think of that horrible day, and I’ll remind myself that while I always swing for the fences, I must never risk harm to such regal fowl. And therefore, 13 years later to the day, there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…..Raymond
7/13/00
Softball: A Dynasty Amongst Us
Dear People,
Before getting to the game news, sincere congratz to Carolyn and Neil, who are now the proud parents of a wonderful softball-craving baby boy!! ;-) I have no doubt that he will quickly grow up to dominate the unaffiliated email organized games of his generation, just as both his parents do today.
In any case, there will be a match at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, there are still a couple slots left. Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only, includes certified post-game training in deep submircon device fabrication….Ray
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