7/14/04

Softball: MVP (and LVP)

Dear People,

Technically, my team lost to Mike Davey’s, 19-15, yet the fact is that my side scored a moral victory in every sense of the phrase, and I’m not saying that just because we fell a tad short under the annoyingly prosaic convention of just counting runs. Indeed, Peter’s performance alone was one for the ages, for this venerable giant of our community—cherished by all for having the raw power and speed of a tranquilized river turtle—hit the first triple in the history of his long and puzzling life.

Yes, a triple, which is all the more remarkable since I don’t recall him ever getting a double, and yet there he was, stumbling from 1st to 2nd to 3rd after a genteel fly ball to center sailed lovingly over Ramona’s pathetically outstretched glove. The Peternator had two RBIs that stunning moment, but more than that, he was now a heroic inspiration to those throughout our nation who quietly crave the magic of freakish overachievement.

Alas, Peter’s dance with glory was a somewhat ephemeral affair, for just a few minutes later I was forced to yank him from the pitcher’s mound. Believe me, I don’t switch hurlers lightly in the middle of an inning, but all I can tell you is that the majesty of that triple must have gone to his head, where it was synthetically converted into lime Jello before ending up congealed in his left arm and eyeballs. Personally, I like the "tension" of 85 wild pitches without a strike, but Mike Davey’s batters were growing impatient and bitter, and ultimately, I had to act decisively in the interest of the game itself.

And that’s not all. In the bottom of the 8th inning, my team found itself down by four with two out and bases loaded, but hardly loaded in any normal sense of the word, because for the first time in the history of our community, not a single one of those historic base runners was the possessor of an actual Shmekel. Yes, my friends, there were three duckettes on the pond that fine day, and lo and behold, our hero Peter was at bat again, primed, hale and ready to drive them home.

Sadly, Peter’s rendez-vous with destiny was marred by an utterly pointless pop up, which, alas, stranded three women on base, killed our rally, and in the end, crushed any hopes we had of emerging victorious. Nevertheless, his long inter-inning journey from God-like champion to aerobic Goat is an inherent triumph of the human spirit, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond

PS: ULTIMATE FRISBEE STOPS AGING!!: Ken reports that his attempts to organize a midweek ultimate game have so far met with a less than robust response. This is totally unacceptable, though I do realize that birthing an athletic institution takes some time. For now, please let me know if you’d like to be put on an ultimate-only mailing list (Ken and I can assure you that your name and address would never be released to any government agency, and that if we did sell it to advertisers, it would only be because they paid us big-time).


7/16/04

Softball: A Shameless Familial Plug

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, there are zero slots left. I realize that’s brutal for those who tarried, but you are always welcome to contact me later to see if anybody cancels (And as always, those who need to cancel should let me know ASAP).

$2 for the field/See ya Sunday…Raymond

PS: As many in the community know, my brother Lawrence is a thoroughly undistinguished athlete who adds nothing of aerobic value to my family. His legs are spindly, his fielding is barely adequate, and at the plate, he makes Peter look like Barry Bonds.

However, he is an excellent award-winning Pulitzer-nominated writer, and while I’m obviously not going to use this softball list to promote his current book tour, the locals amongst you should know that he will be appearing at Black Oak Books, at Shattuck and Vine, this Monday evening at 7:30PM. I think he will be speaking on his latest work, "Vermeer in Bosnia," which has essays on a lot of different topics, from international politics to modern art….

http://www.blackoakbooks.com/calendar.html

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0679442707/qid=1089957872/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_1/103-5130516-2485454

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