7/26/00

Softball: Chicks

Dear People,

Congratz to all on last week’s rousing 20-13 exemplification of musk-laden aerobic excellence. Yes, there was mirth and majesty as usual, yet I will not sugarcoat the harsh demographic realities of this particular match; For the first time since our community sprung forth from the cybergunk of yore over three years ago, not a single female player was present at the game. I suppose that for most of the 20 men playing, each one more virile and manly than the manly man to his side, this was hardly pertinent in the heat of battle. And yet I for one felt sullied by the sudden dearth of the feminine, my heart gently bleeding on the barren infield of estrogen denied.

Unfortunately, my current responsibilities as uncle to the energy-sucking children of my Tokyo-based brother have left me no time to research the raw inspirational fodder for this week’s upcoming game. Nevertheless, I don’t believe it is necessary to do that this week, for I have no doubt that news of the disturbing collapse in our community’s gender-balanced harmony will galvanize the 80+ females who now receive this email, and that as a group, they will flood the ranks of this week’s commits. Indeed, even though I am essentially male, I also will frolic in the reassertion of the nurturing athletic paradigm, and therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 5PM, IF I get enough players by this Friday morning.

So this time, no matter your gender, go ahead and make that pledge as a gentle but effective way of letting the world know that the roots of softball are steeped in the Yang AND the Yin, and that we will not sit idly by and watch it fall into the hands of an all male clique, with their tendency to spit, their fondness for guns, and the deleterious behavioral influence of their tiny little testes….Raymond




7/28/00

Softball: Copyright

Dear People,

There will be a relatively gender-balanced game at Codornices this Sunday at 5PM (very likely followed by an ultimate frisbee match), and as of now, there are still a few slots left.

Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only, includes my personally coded Gnuttella Butterscotch Vaporware, which will enable you to secretly download the complete contents of any computer in the world while brazenly flouting the legally binding injunctions of America’s frisky district courts….Raymond

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