9/5/12

Softball: Additional Gaps and Problems in the Cognitive Base

Dear People,

Jim's contingent swallowed my team whole, 18-7, and in all candor, it was a deeply degrading experience that made me feel as if they were one of those hideous anacondas which stumbled upon an equally ghastly but noble possum in the prime of its childhood innocence (that would be my side). And like that ever honorable rodent, we fought with every fiber of our being. Yet the fact is that Jerry was once again a masterful hurler in the clutch, and in the end, we left bases loaded three separate times. That's nine pre-teen possi who will forever serve as a lingering collective symbol of abandonment, failure and total aerobic disgrace.

Of course it was Maya who truly did us in, delivering half of their 18 RBIs on a triple, a double and two blistering singles to deep center-right; Yeah, she was both the galvanizing moral spine and the lethal fangs of Jim's entire serpentine machine, and as a professional kick-ass herpetologist, he knows that I know that this is the most laudatory blended metaphor in all of competitive sport. Indeed, if Maya had been on my team, we would've crushed those punks, 27-3.

The point is I didn't even realize that snakes had spines until I went to Wikipedia a few moments ago, and frankly, beyond that, I've now concluded that I am simply too retardo to get through the basic trigonometry modules in Khan Academy. Does this mean that in brutally honest retrospect, those nine stupid possi were victims of ungalvanized, backboneless, befuddled and intellectually unworthy captainship? I honestly don't know, but I do know that's the type of admittedly discomfiting query that this community has never shied away from confronting, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond


9/6/12

Softball: Oration

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now there is still one tiny little slot left.

Please bring $4 for the field, which includes my personal pledge to you that this week's post-game keynote speech will not include the words God, middle class or spit ball…Raymond 845-7552

BACK