9/15/99
Softball: The Arbitrary Sting of Service Cut Short
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week's fragrant 13-7 masterpiece of curiously compelling recreational theater, played out as it was against the backdrop of several dozen menacing six year old soccer-playing girls, their determination to occupy our rightfully acquired land casting a troublesome pall on the fragile integrity of the Berkeley Parks reservation system. Frankly, I think we had the moral high ground in the form of codified State approval, and regardless, I truly believe that had it been necessary, we could have taken them despite their superior numbers. Oh sure, there would have been casualties----cleated pissed-off little infant thugs can obviously kick a shin with frightful force---yet nevertheless, I am convinced that we would have drawn overwhelming strength from the righteousness of our cause, and thus its a damn good thing for them that they agreed to let us play. That's what I think.
In any case, I have just returned from deep within the belly of Berkeley's recreational bureaucracy in order to clarify what is obviously a tense geoathletic situation. As you can imagine, the soccer-mom parents of the clique in question represent a fierce political constituency, while sadly, as unaffiliated email-based amateur softball playing peoples, we are viewed as mere aerobiScum by the ruling echelons of East Bay society. Nevertheless, I was able to get guarantees of continued access to Codornices for at least this weekend, and thus the delicate cohesion of our noble experiment in kinesiological democracy remains.
This is truly excellent news, for as you know, this Saturday, September 18th, is the 80th birthday of the starkly misunderstood Joseph P. Cleary, the less-than-legendary Washington Senators southpaw whose only appearance in the Major Leagues, on September 8th 1945, was marked by a scarring one-out 14-hit 12-run shellacking against the Boston Red Sox. Shamefully, Cleary was pulled by the Senator's ungrateful management before even finishing his first inning. Even more outrageous though, is the fact that he was never again invited back to the pitcher's mound, which can only be seen as a direct assault on the very notion of redemption itself. Ironically, however, this does mean that over half a century later, he still has the highest career earned run average in the history of Professional Baseball---a statistically wondrous 189.28!
I don't really know if Joe is still with us, but I do know that 54 years later, it is time to finally honor this towering figure of unmitigated immediate Postwar athletic failure. Therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this Saturday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning. So do what you must; Do it for Joseph P. Cleary, whose abrupt relegation to the dust-bin of pitching history is a shocking reminder of how tenuous our own claims are to our very livelihoods....Raymond
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