Softball: An Unfortunate Nephrological Blunder
Dear People,
Alan Brill’s team decimated my own, 21-7, in one of those curious and painful ordeals in which my own side crumbled early, fast and hard—the ghastly specter of rarefied ineptitude haunting us from the get-go. Yes, it began in the bottom of the 1st, when for the first time in my storied 60-year career, I found myself playing left field, which most experts now agree is the most frightening position in all of human sport. I’m not ashamed to say that I was indeed tremulous, but both team rosters were somewhat more fragile than normal, and truth be told, I take a certain pride in the robust diversity of my athletic skills sets.
In any case, with one out and one on, I was just getting my bearings when a genteel line drive skipped past Chris Fure at short and headed directly toward my steadily awaiting glove. Initially, I was poised as a pickle when I scooped up that orb with a focus worthy of my new posting, but then suddenly I heard the Furenator screaming “two-bagger, two-bagger!,” an expression I had heard him yell thousands of times before, but always from the distant safety of my beloved first-base perch. The point is that I suddenly realized I had no idea what the fuck a two-bagger was, but for some reason I assumed that any person screaming such intriguing aerobic code was destined to be a vital part of the quickly evolving play.
In retrospect, of course, I probably shouldn’t have hurled the ball straight into the lower right quadrant of Chris’ tender little back, if for no other reason than that’s where his kidney resides. Moreover, that organ was a long way from 2nd base (as it turns out, the two-bagger in question), which meant that when all was said and done, I had not only brutally assaulted my perfectly innocent short-stop, but I had also blown a totally routine force-play. Retardo, to be sure, but in my book that’s still called a twofer, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Ray
10/10/08
Softball: Your Official Too-Big-to-Fail Sport
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, it is full. As always, if you committed and need to cancel, please let me know ASAP, and for those who still want in, feel free to contact me later to see if any slots have opened up. Regardless, I am delighted to report that Broh and Matt are promising a vigorous round of batting practice starting around 9AM.
This week’s field fee is just $3, although I will also be asking you for a limited $100 billion dollar pre-game bridge loan for my own personal use, all fully backed by a seasonal selection of fraudulent Icelandic derivatives…Ray 845-7552
PS: “Ask her about the dinosaurs….”…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DIc8jdra0o