10/11/00
Softball: The Varying Roads to Injury
Dear People,
As you know, there was no game last week due to an inexplicable crisis of aerobic resolve. Yet there was a salubrious ultimate Frisbee match for those among us who are still devoted to cardiovascular excellence, and in fact it was at this very event that a cherished polysportal colleague subtly implied that the broader softball playing community may no longer have the prerequisite passion for vigorous year-round play. Yes, he even suggested that I give up on all of you and focus on the more serious growth opportunities that lie in community bowling and croquet.
My heart nearly cleaved asunder, but I quickly regained my composure and gently reminded him that these softball games were not just two-bit optical fiber networking companies that trade on the NASDAQ. Indeed, I went on to tell him that they represent nothing less than the athletic aspirations of an entire people, and that for many, they are also the only weekly solace from their otherwise drab, sedentary and surprisingly pointless lives.
In any case, it turns out that this Sunday, October 15th, is the 90th anniversary of the birth of the great Billy "pimples" Herman, the legendary Chicago Cubs second baseman whose Hall of Fame career began with perhaps the least auspicious debut in the history of the Major Leagues. As most of you know, Hermie came to bat for the first time ever on August 29th, 1931, in a sweltering and taut Wrigley Field game against the fearsome Cincinnati Reds. On his very first swing as a pro, the 21 year old minor league sensation, untested in the majors and undoubtedly a virgin, swung forcefully at a searing Si Johnson sinker. Amazingly, ‘ol zit-face immediately fouled the ball off his own head, and in the process, knocked himself completely unconscious!
I still get chills when I think of the singularity of accomplishment that such a feat represents, and indeed, I think it’s no coincidence that no other player in history has ever been so efficiently anesthetized from such an inspiring display of recreational freako-Euclidean magnificence. And therefore, in honor of this towering symbol of really peculiar risk, there will be a game at Albany’s Middle School Park this Sunday at 12 noon, IF I get enough players by this Friday morning……Raymond
10/13/00
Softball: Your Aerobic Oasis from a World Gone Nutso
Dear People,
There will be a game at Albany’s Middle School Park (between San Pablo and the freeway on Buchanan) this Sunday at Noon, and as of now, there are still a few slots left.
Please bring $2 for the field, which, as always, includes both ample free parking and a complimentary shank of Armenian butter-rump carving ham…..Raymond
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