1/2/02

Softball: The Logic of Persistence

Dear People,

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking "Why the fuck are you even bothering to write me, you pitiful sack of pollyannic drivel." Point well taken. But let me make it clear that I understand your frustration, your pain and the simmering bile that is now triggered by the mere presence of the RWBERKELEY address within your otherwise pristine in-boxes. Admittedly, these last two months of tease, denial and sloth can no longer be excused by such abstracted justifications as "rain" or "mud," and regardless, given the forceful assurance with which I had written you last week, Sunday’s stunning preemptive seizure of Kleeberger by a hoard of pre-pubescent suburban soccer-playing gangsterettes probably leaves all of us feeling confused, vulnerable and even unclean.

The fact is that the developments of that morning were so utterly unexpected that I had already finished up the go-ahead letter for a completely inverted reality when Frank called in with the devastating news. Upon hearing the word, my heart cleaved into 1,000 shattered chunks of aortic despair, for it was at that very moment that I forever lost my organizational innocence.

Whatever. The point is that we have been so thoroughly hosed by circumstances beyond our control that normally I would decide that there is no longer any reason to carry on with this process. Indeed, if we were honest with ourselves, we’d all admit that a friendly game of mahjong probably provides as much aerobic value as softball, and unlike the latter, it can be played in the living room while enjoying hot cocoa and cigarettes. And yet, just a few minutes ago, I happen to be scanning the 5-Day Bay Area weather forecast that’s provided by the fine folks at Yahoo.com, when I stumbled across these exact words and font size:

Thursday through Monday...dry.

Fine, call me an incorrigible dumb-ass optimist if you must. Nevertheless, I would like to think that at least some of you have not been so completely drained of hope that the very act of commitment leaves you flailing upon the desiccated remains of your own lost humanity. At a minimum, I would like to think that. And therefore, there will be a game at Codorincies this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…..Raymond



1/4/01

Softball: Sun, Risk and the Rules of Engagement

Dear People,

There will most likely be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, there are still TWO slots left. The field fee is $1, and in honor of the new 2002 chronometric unit, that includes a delightful Swiss Chocolate Mousse with Poire William.

Please note: If there is precipitation, rain or any kind of wettage between now and then, you should check email or voicemail Sunday morning around 10:05AM. If necessary, Frank might return to Kleeberger, but this time with an adequate supply of benign yet curiously effective juvenile-strength tear gas….Raymond 845-7552

1/6/02

Softball: 10:01 AM Sunday: The Glories of Astroturf For A Desperate People

Yes, I am well aware that there was insidious rain last night, and that it is bone-chilling cold, and that the East Bay skies are a frightful gray coating of nimbostratic insanity. But let me make this perfectly clear; I do not organize these games in order to indulge your craven desire for climatic reassurance.

As of 10AM this morning, our beloved KLEEBERGER homeland has been liberated by Frank, who assures me that while her verdant rubber sheathing is soaked and soaked good, she is empty, lonely and yearning for all of us with a passion that completely belies the intrinsic nature of inanimate chemical flooring.

Dress for snow/Football if it hails/No excuses/No excuses/No excuses/See you there ASAP/11:00 at the latest…..Raymond

PS: Hearst to Gayley and turn right/A quarter mile up on the left, across from the Cal Business School. Free parking until 1PM!

PPS: Carpe Diem! Two slots left! Make that commit! I’ll be here for 5 minutes. Afterward, Frank’s cell is 415/290-8897. Get there early! Protect our homeland! Frisbee before softball! The people, united, will never be defeated.

PPS: Look, I know it’s not particularly pleasant outside, but I have friends in Buffalo; Please do not shame me by wussing on 50 degree temps and "the threat of drizzle."

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