Softball: Expectations, Martians and a Lesson in the Common Law
Dear People,
Jeff W’s team rallied hard, smart and late to beat Chris Fure’s, 23-22, on Anthony’s devastating game-ending homer to the lush yak-laden tundra of deep center-right. Given that this was the Capeman’s fifth and most magnificent hit of the day, it capped a sublime performance in which he not only batted 1,000, but clearly inspired Steve “Full-swing Bunter” Seskin, who followed Tony in the lineup. Yes, the Seskinator himself batted .750 with three solid singles well past the infield (!), proving once again that the athletic future is always unwritten.
In any case, I got to imbibe the glory of it all with the authoritative neutrality that comes from being official game umpire. Naturally, such responsibilities present a somewhat different perspective on the entire recreational enterprise, what with its random individuals pointlessly swinging aluminum sticks at little yellow balls that go flying off in all different directions, much to the apparent horror of others who appear to be constantly chasing after them (as if they were no more cognitively advanced than your typical pea-brained schnauzer trying to please its master).
Frankly, the whole thing reeks of some inexplicable mass psychosis, which makes me think that if any extra-terrestrials were watching us, they’d be both utterly mystified and totally disturbed by everything they witnessed. Needless to say, we can only hope that we’re alone in the universe, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Ray
A Relevant PS on the Risks of Overbooking: As interesting as being an ump is, I would still like to gently clarify that you have not officially reserved your place in any given game until you receive the personal OK back from me. Indeed, the rules for this process are deeply rooted in the sexy contractual property law of late medieval England, which means that when my weekly email goes out, it is only a general announcement of potential interest (or annoyance), to which your response to me is an ‘offer,’ to which my OK letter back to you is an ‘acceptance.’ More specifically, it is ONLY that acceptance which signifies the meeting of aerobic minds, guaranteeing you the slottage that you so shamelessly crave…
12/7/07
Softball: Your Timely Youtube-Generation Sport
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM and as of now there are still five slots left.
Please bring $3 for the field, which for this week only includes my long-awaited post-game speech on how my deep agnostic faith is so utterly vital to my life as an athlete…Raymond 845-7552
PS: A thematic sampling of politics, voters and the problems with Mitt:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xqNbZKIQUs&feature=related
http://youtube.com/watch?v=NY6UTnS6Z-A
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/poll_mitt_romney_is_candidate
PPS: On the same page as this last entry is one of the funniest videos I’ve ever seen on the internet. Alas, it’s just way too crude for me to link here in good conscience, but I can give a subtle hint for those who’d like to find it: Il s’agit des flics xxx et ‘le mot N’…