12/6/00
Softball: The Stress of Evolving Law
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s superb 27-23 manifestation of stirring athletic excellence, played out as it was under rules so new and frightening that many of us were led to the very brink of aerobic psychosis. Yes, I fully acknowledge that the placing of a lowly and rectangular tanned butternut carpet scrap just behind homeplate brings psychological risks that are nearly incalculable. Yet ultimately, we as a people cannot deny the raw conceptual pulchritude of the strike zone itself--- newly concrete in form, amorphous in essence, and perhaps most chilling, utterly indifferent to the sorrows of both batter and pitcher. I say we keep her.
Of course adoption of a full-fledged strike zone is not some kind of saccharine recreational whim; It is a shift in athletic paradigm that reflects nothing less than the dramatic maturation of the athletic psyche. Indeed, when I stood there at the batter’s box in the top of the 9th, my own team suddenly down to it’s last pitiful out, I felt a wave of inexplicable inner calm as that magnificent little orb gently sailed past me and plopped itself dead center on the piece-of-crap throw-rug in question. No, I had no regrets at all, and even when I spastically swung and missed on the very next pitch, thus ending the game and clinching my own role as dufus de jour, I felt more vital and at peace with the cosmos than I ever had before.
In any case, if we’re going to stick with the carpet, we should decide whether to also count balls, and if so, how many before a batter is walked. My own suggestion is to have a five ball rule, on the theory that this will gently speed up the game. Of course many of you are loath to introduce such a shameful way to get on base, which I fully understand, and thus an alternative possibility would be to severely flog any pitcher who throws five balls, but to deny the batter a walk. Anyway, let me know if you have a preference.
Finally, and as most of you certainly know, this weekend is the 26th anniversary of the resignation of Arkansas Representative Wilbur Mills from the chairmanship of the powerful House Ways and Means Committee. As the first Arkansinian to face total political ruin because of a really stupid sex scandal, I believe the Millmesiter is a cutting-edge inspiration to naughty people everywhere, and therefore, there will be a game at San Pablo this Sunday at Noon,
IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Ray
12/8/00
Softball: The Strain of Decision
Dear People,
There will be a game at San Pablo this Sunday at noon, and as of now, there are still a few slots available. Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only includes your choice of suckling from a magnificent litter of 27 Balkan wall lizards, OR a complimentary vat of savory bread pudding with prune glaze…..Ray
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