Softball: The Precarious Task of Biblical Scholarship
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s slightly less than riveting 19-12 manifestation of cheery recreational camaraderie. Yes, there will always be those who question the ethics of my decision to force a trade of pitchers in order to stanch the inertia of a game that was drifting dangerously close to the dysfunctional miasma of outright carnage (16-6 at the point of the fateful coup). However, I also believe that this 4th inning swap-by-fiat will be validated by the general consensus of athletic ethicists, who will ultimately conclude that the arbitrary whims of a ruthless autocrat must remain both legal and rare. Yes, legal, lest the competitive integrity of the people be sullied by occasional scores of rout and shame.
And speaking of great controversies in athletic logistics, I am fully aware that this upcoming weekend marks the birth of the Prince of Peace, exactly 1,999 years ago this Saturday, give or take a decade. I understand that, and I for one am not about to schedule a game that would conflict with the more spiritual foci of our people of faith. Nevertheless, I just happened to be reading through the Gospel according to Matthew when it suddenly struck me that the Mattmesiter’s most compelling contribution was probably his stirring depiction of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount.
In all candor, I am not an expert in the ancient Hebraic tongues of the Eastern Mediterranean, and yet my own etymological analysis strongly suggests that the Aramaic slang word "mooundt" (meaning literally, "awesome anthill") was somehow translated into ancient Hebrew as their word for "mount," (meaning "nice mountain"), when in reality, the location where Jesus offered his beatitudes was on the "mound" (with a ‘d’). No, I cannot prove this beyond a doubt, and I certainly do not mean to cast aspersions on the fine folks who toiled at the Department of Translation in King James’ Court. Yet I am suggesting that recent archeological breakthroughs now clearly imply that the ancient Israelites played a club-swinging ball game that was shockingly similar to our modern game of baseball, and more to the point, when Jesus rose to address the multitudes on that fateful ancient day, he did so from the pitcher’s mound at the original Jerusalem Stadium and Rugby Club.
I accept that many of you will be skeptical, but all I can do is speak truth to power. Therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday, December 26th at 1PM, IF I get enough players by this THURSDAY at noon (I have to get the reservation slip a day early, since the Berkeley City Recreation Office will be closed on Friday). I also realize that this leaves you a lot to mull over, and that in situations of moral ambiguity, it’s not always easy to do the right thing. Still, I want you to look deep into your own conscience and make that commit; Do it for the great apostle Matthew, who in telling the story of the Sermon on the Mound, forever reminds us that our roots as a softball playing people go deep indeed, no matter the individual level of our play or the creed within our hearts….Raymond
12/22/99
Softball: Sorrow and Rest
Dear People,
As you know, the emotive synaptic structures of my tiny tender hippocampus spazz out with the festering rage of 1,000 over-regulated investment bankers whenever I have to call off a game, but the hard reality of the world is that we are far short a quorum. Therefore, there will NOT be a match this Sunday.
Merry Xmas……Raymond